I just want to go home.
I just want to go home more than I’ve ever wanted anything.
I want everyone to stop treating me like shit.
I just want one fucking person who is gonna understand.
In other news. I get to go home in four days. My brother and sister sporadically call me “he” and my mom gets made but she’s never said anything in front of me. The other day, my brother flipped out calling me a dyke and my mom let him. I was about to leave, literally, right then. But my mom won’t drive me to the airport early, and I wouldn’t have anywhere t go. So I just holed up in a room for the rest of the night until I got kicked out into the main part of the house so people could go to bed. Not having anywhere to just be alone is killing me because it’s to the point that I literally can’t wait to get away from these people.
I have a job lined up for when I get home, but my mom won’t help me with my fafsa so I have no clue what to do about school, and if I’m not in school I can’t work there. I did apply for a job that is working online from my computer though. Retouching photos for funeral homes… It’s not the best thing to be doing but if I get it, it’s income. All based on how much work I do, not on how much time I spend. That is the best part.
My aunt called a few minutes ago, and that is actually why I’m posting. She was talking about how excited I must be to be going home, and asked about Lena, and my plans. She told me that she’s proud of me, and that she’s glad I’m pursuing writing because of how talented I am. She talked about how great of a writer I was and she wants to see some of my new stuff, and she told me I was handsome, and she’s proud, and that my whole life is waiting for me..
and no one has ever fucking said that to me before.